Some gifts are so close to us we can sometimes lose sight of them.
For the past number of years, life has been very exciting for me and my husband – a nearly constant flow of wonderful things; peppered of course with challenges, but mostly dear and wonderful things. We met, fell in love, found jobs, got married, bought a house, had a baby, bought another house, had another baby. It’s been three years since the last “big thing” and I’ve started feeling restless. It’s not time for another baby, we’re happy in our home, we’re fortunately both gainfully employed … so what is next? I’m still young and yet I fell into a sort of mourning – that the most exciting days of my life were behind me. I actually said to myself and to my husband – “What’s next? Just living?!” Luckily a lightning bolt didn’t strike me dead for saying such a thing.
This morning, the winds are howling and a storm is brewing. I love the wind. For me it holds a magical quality. Kite flying is an activity I adore – just me and a kite on a string, playing with the wind. I like it more than my kids do. Winds bring change – they move you in unexpected ways. As I looked out at the trees dancing in the wind this morning, my own personal wind – my breath – caught in my throat and tears swelled in my eyes. I realized something I hadn’t before and was immediately filled with a lightness, an excitement and a very deep gratitude.
I’ve had the honour and pleasure of experiencing some remarkable milestones and now I get to have them again as I watch my children grow and I live their milestones along with them. As a single solitary person, my life is rich, but as a mother — my life has more abundance than I’d ever imagined. As my children grow, I can watch them experience things I can’t remember having done myself. I can delight in their excitement over splashing in puddles, I can cry with them when their hearts are broken knowing that it feels like that pain will never pass. My daughter is a rainbow seeker and she teaches me to look up. My son is headstrong and he reminds me that we can always look within to find our own way.
We can look for the treasures in our daily life or we can think of it as “just living”. The choice is ours and the result will be a difference between a life of drudgery, misunderstanding, boredom, and pain and a life of mystery, celebration, connection, sweet excitement, ceremony, and peace.
Today I remembered which path I’m choosing and I thank the wind for helping to show me.